


Would You Miss Me?

by rossalba



Category: Senyuu. (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bullying, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Suicide Attempt, angsting on a comedy series heyyy, i'm gonna revive this tag by my Damn self
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-12-30 07:37:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18311138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rossalba/pseuds/rossalba
Summary: Despite his appearance and actions, Ross is very observant of people, especially those he cares about. So, when Alba starts acting strange, he’s the first to notice.[DISCONTINUED/IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REWRITTEN]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hahaha. wow. i am NOT a writer. but i've had this idea for awhile and i needed to vent so like... you know how it is -dabs- and also there hasn't been a senyuu fanfic posted since like... 2018. the curse. the disgust i feel is incomparable. so i'm gonna fill the tag myself fuck you guys

          Despite his appearance and actions, Ross is very observant of people, especially those he cares about. So, when Alba starts acting strange, he’s the first to notice.

          It starts when Ross walks into school early (he couldn’t sleep), before anyone _should_ be there, to see Alba scrubbing something off of his desk. He’s got an expression Ross has never seen before— instead of the smile he’d always present, he looks… not sad, but almost resigned?

          Ross stares through the window of their classroom at Alba, not wanting him to notice the sound of the door opening. Alba puts away the handkerchief he used and sits at his desk, resting his head on his hand, that same look on his face. Ross doesn’t like it. Ross doesn’t like to see his naïve, happy-go-lucky Hero without the cheesy grin stretching across his features.

          So, he bursts in, shouting some cheeky insult that immediately gets Alba’s face red and a retort coming out of his mouth, and he refuses to let himself worry about his friend. He was probably just cleaning his desk because he drooled on it while taking a nap. Yeah, that was it.

* * *

 

          But, no, that’s not it.

          Because not even a week later, Ross is jovially patting Alba on the back (okay, well, maybe it was more like a slap, but it wasn’t _that_ hard), and Alba is doubling over in pain.

          “Eh? Hero?” Ross questions.

          “Alba-san, are you okay?” Ruki asks, trying to help Alba back up.

          “Ah,” Alba starts, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment, “sorry, guys, I just recently got— got a bruise there, so it’s sore, hahaha…”

          Ross looks at him doubtfully. “How did you get a bruise on your back, Hero? Did you put it there yourself? Are you a masochist?”

          “NO!” Alba exclaims defensively. “It was just—I, uh, I fell. On. On my back.”

          Ross raises an eyebrow.

          “Seriously!”

          And then Foyfoy arrives, sporting a profusely bleeding nose, with a red-faced Hime-chan and guffawing Ares following, and the topic changes before Ross can get in another word.

          Ross still refuses to care this time. He couldn’t get attached, not again, not after what happened to Crea.

          But he can feel his resolve starting to slip.

* * *

 

          The entrance ceremony for their second year ends up landing on March 6th, and Ruki decides that everyone should pitch in to get Alba that game system he’d been raving about. Everyone agrees, and they end up pooling in enough to get him a decent second-hand 3DS. Despite the console being old news, Alba was overjoyed, saying that he’d never gotten something so nice before, and thanked his friends so much that they asked him to stop.

          However, the next week, Alba (in his winter uniform???) slowly shuffled into class holding the mangled system in his hands.

          “Sorry, I, uh… I dropped it,” he mumbles, looking anywhere but at his friends.

          “Seriously?” Foyfoy groans. “God, we spent so much money on that…!”

          “Alba,” Ares threatens.

          “I’m sorry,” Alba repeats, shrinking in on himself.

          Ross snatches the 3DS from Alba and inspects it. There’s _way_ too much damage to have been simply dropped; it looked like it had been forcefully banged against a hard surface until the glass had shattered, and the hinge didn’t close properly. Crea, being the clumsy idiot that he was, had dropped many (of Ross’s) things, but they never looked as beat-up as this.

          Ross moves to get Foyfoy and Ares away from berating Alba, who looks like he would rather disappear, but their teacher walks in, and everyone moves to their seats. Ross, who luckily sits directly next to Alba, passes a note to him.

          **Who did it?**

         Alba scribbles a reply down and hands the note back.

          **Me? I dropped it?**

**Tell the truth, Hero.**

**I’m serious!** As Alba adamantly and carelessly tosses the note back, Ross can see a hint of purple beneath his sleeve.

 **I’m not stupid-** Ross accuses, but their teacher snatches the paper from his desk and tosses it in the trash. Ross sulks.

         This time, he doesn’t tell himself not to worry.

         Because he can’t help not worrying.

* * *

 

          Ross has the same routine every day after school. Excuse himself from walking home with his friends (“Because who’d want to walk with losers?” he’d say), visit the hospital where Crea rested, mess with and tease Crea to forget that it was _his_ father who had killed Crea’s parents and rendered Crea unable to use his left side, go home, avoid doing homework, and fall asleep. But if what Ross thinks is happening to Alba is, in fact, happening…

          Well, hopefully, it’s not.

          So just this once, Ross stays behind at school. He knows that Foyfoy, Ares, Hime, Ruki, and Teufel met up and walked home as a group, while Alba would stay behind to take over cleaning duty. Students in his class were assigned to clean, but Alba would always insist of taking over, because he “liked to”, or some other lame (and unconvincing) reason. Ross waits around the corner by the shoe lockers so that, when Alba exits his class and turns to get his shoes, he wouldn’t be seen.

          Alba opens his locker, pauses, and sighs. “Again,” he mumbles. Then, he puts his indoor shoes inside the locker and closes it without taking out his pair of shoes for outside.

          _Weird,_ Ross thinks. Except it’s not weird, because it’s just more evidence for Ross to believe that Alba is being b—

          Ross hears a loud rattle from outside as something (or some _one_ ) was being slammed into the chain fence. He hears a yelp from, oh, God, he hopes it’s not Alba but he _knows_ it is, he’s not dumb.

          He scrambles to the window to see three third years: a tanned guy with spiky hair, a tall one wearing a long black coat (is that even allowed by dress code?), and a short blond one with his hair up in a ponytail. The tanned one has a fistful of Alba’s hair in his hand, pressing Alba’s head into the fence. And they’re _laughing_ , those _fucking—_

          “Y’know, Alba,” Tanned Guy says, and Alba shudders at the use of his name without an honorific from _him_ , “Ye’r quite fun ta pick on. Ya don’t even resist, and ya haven’t told no one ‘bout us! Ya even hide the bruises under ye’r winter clothes.”

          Alba groans as he’s punched in the gut by the Blondie and whimpers as Tanned Guy pulls his hair harder. It’s then that he notices Ross staring at him, shock and fear apparent on his face.

          And he shakes his head as if to say _please don’t come over here, Ross._

          It’s then that Tanned Guy yanks Alba by his hair away from the fence and pushes his head into the fountain at the front of the school, waving his arm around so that Alba has no choice but to choke on the water.

          Alba comes up, shaking and gasping for breath, and Ross hears a water-muffled scream as he’s ducked back under. He tries to use his arms to brace himself against the fountain and push himself back up, but Coat Man holds his arms behind him at an angle that’s painful to just _look_ at, and Ross wants to respect Alba’s wishes and not interfere but _damnit_ he can’t just stand by and watch.

          His body moves on its own; one second, he’s staring out the window, and the next, his fist connects with Coat Man’s face strong enough that Ross feels the nose on his hand break with a sort of smugness.

          The surprise attack causes Tanned Guy to let go of Alba, who rises up to cough and gulp breaths of air back into his burning lungs.

          “Hi!” Ross says, much too cheerful for the situation. The three students look at him, shocked that someone would do something to so violent with such an expression.

          “If you ever do anything like that again, I’ll do _so_ much worse to all of you!”

          Ross puts on his most sadistic smile, and Tanned guy is muttering “Shit guys that’s _Ross_ we have’ta get outta here right now,” and the bullies scamper away.

          Ross turns his attention back on Alba, and his heart jumps into his throat. Alba is curled in on himself, trembling, tears obvious in his eyes despite his face and hair being sopping wet. His uniform jacket had been torn off, leaving the smattering of bruises on his arms (and _oh, my God, are those cuts_ ) visible, standing out in contrast to his pale skin. He’d left the school without his shoes (which had obviously been taken by the three), so his socks were dirtied and torn.

          “I’m—” he starts, his voice breaking. “I’m s-sorry, I—”

          “Hero,” Ross interrupts. He’s speaking in a soft voice he’d never used before with Alba.

          “… _Ross,_ ” Alba whimpers, and this time, Ross feels his heart break.

          “Ross, please, I’m sorry—”

          “ _Why?_ ” Ross lets some of the hysteria he feels into his voice. “Hero, _why_ are you apologizing?”

          Alba curls deeper into himself, hiding his face, and lets out a muffled “I’m so weak that I got beaten up and you had to save me and—"

          Ross is in front of him in an instant, resting his hand on Alba’s. Alba instinctively flinches from the contact, which hurts Ross even more.

          “It’s okay,” he reassures. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Hero.”

          Alba lets out a choked sob, and the sound is quite possibly the worst thing Ross has ever heard.

          “Let’s get you home,” Ross murmurs, prompting Alba to look up at him. He scoops Alba up in his arms, and Alba, tired and on the verge of tears, just lets him.

          The walk to Alba’s home is long and heavy with emotion. Ross feels the turmoil of his emotions beneath his calm exterior. Anger at those _assholes_ for doing something like this to _Alba_. Sweet, kind Alba, who always helps others and had never done anything to deserve this. Frustration at himself for not realizing sooner, for not _helping_ Alba sooner. Immeasurable sadness at Alba’s _hopeless_ expression.

          “Ross,” he croaks, and Ross looks down at him in his arms.

          “Ross, would you… If I were to disappear… would you miss me?”

          Ross inhales sharply. He hesitates, wanting to choose his words carefully, but Alba is already interrupting him.

          “Never mind,” he says, and he smiles, but it’s not the bright ones he’d always plaster on with everyone. It’s a bitter smile, as if he’s laughing at himself. “Don’t answer that.”

          “Hero—”

          “ _Please._ ” The smile is gone, replaced by brokenness. “Please don’t answer.”

          “…Okay.”

          When Ross is finally at Alba’s home, it’s already sunset. Alba’s mother opens the door, and upon seeing her son bruised and battered in his friend’s arms, almost begins to weep.

          “Oh, Aru-tan,” she whispers. “What happened?”

          Alba curls further into Ross.

          “May I come in, Fruhling-san?” Ross asks.

          She steps out of the doorway, allowing Ross to bring Alba in and set him on the floor. Alba’s still shaking, not from pain, but from fear of judgement by the people closest to him.

          “I’m going to go clean up,” he says, not looking at either of them.

          “Aru-tan, please tell me what happened…”

          Alba stiffens, so Ross says, “I can tell you, Fruhling-san.” Alba visibly relaxes at this, and then glances at Ross.

          “Go clean up, Hero.”

          Alba smiles knowingly. “Goodbye, Ross.”

          Still caught up in the events that happened that afternoon, Ross doesn’t think anything of it.

          How he wishes he had.

          Alba goes upstairs, and Ross begins to explain everything to Alba’s mother. How he had seen Alba ridding his desk of vile insults written on it, how he hid his bruises from everyone (including his own mother), how the bullies had ruined his game console, and how Ross finally decided to step in.

          “I’m sorry I didn’t do anything sooner,” Ross finally says, looking down at his hands.

          Alba’s mother, however, cracks a small smile, despite the tears in her eyes. “You helped him,” she says. “Thank you.”

          Before Ross can reply, he hears a loud _thud_ from upstairs. It’s the sound of something heavy hitting the ground. Something as heavy as a—

          His head starts to spin.

          _Goodbye_ , Alba had said. Not “See you later,” not “I’ll be back.” _Goodbye._

          Ross is running upstairs, ignoring Mrs. Fruhling’s shouts of surprise. He runs towards the door with its light on, and thankfully finds it unlocked. He bursts in, and—

          Alba’s laying in the bathtub, a deep wound stretching across his stomach, flowing with fresh blood, and a bloody knife lying next to him.

          “Oh, God,” Ross cries, running towards the tub. “Hero! Hero!

          “… _Alba!_ ”


	2. sorry famsquad

hi so uhh i've decided 2 revamp this story to fit more along the lines of the actual canon senyuu.. school au? if that makes sense. like the one in the drama cds

i'm gonna leave the first chapter up if you still wanna read it for whatever reason.. but the ending is gonna be basically the same so! dw bout the cliffhanger

**Author's Note:**

> (:


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